Kim Vander Bie, Haven's mom
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Kim Vander Bie, Haven's mom
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Kim, a single mother, raised Haven, 18, in Chula Vista, California. She adopted Haven in 2002 from the Chaohu Children’s Welfare Institute, in Anhui Province.
She remembers Haven expressing concern for her birth parents even as a 3 or 4- year- old. She imagined that DNA testing might one day lead Haven to her birth parents. She took Haven back to China on a Heritage Tour in 2012. They returned to China when Haven was a teenager. It was on the second trip that the possibility of finding Haven’s birth parents emerged. Through events that Kim says she still doesn’t completely understand their guide received a phone call advising her that there was information available for Haven. The guide was ultimately able to contact Haven’s birth father. That telephone call led to reunion.
Kim says the reunion has been wonderful. The family remains in contact via WeChat and is continuing to get to know one another. That she doesn’t have all the puzzle pieces about what led to the reunion is a mystery she can live with.
“I’m very curious by nature. I like to get to the bottom of things, but I feel like not at the expense of offending someone or alienating someone. It’s not worth it to me, you know. You know, it’s all worked out now and the last time we were all together we had this big dinner and we hugged, the birth parents, Haven and I and, afterwards, through Charley, our translator, Haven’s dad said:
“This is God’s arrangement…We just feel like, you know, the stars aligned and it all worked out.”
She remembers Haven expressing concern for her birth parents even as a 3 or 4- year- old. She imagined that DNA testing might one day lead Haven to her birth parents. She took Haven back to China on a Heritage Tour in 2012. They returned to China when Haven was a teenager. It was on the second trip that the possibility of finding Haven’s birth parents emerged. Through events that Kim says she still doesn’t completely understand their guide received a phone call advising her that there was information available for Haven. The guide was ultimately able to contact Haven’s birth father. That telephone call led to reunion.
Kim says the reunion has been wonderful. The family remains in contact via WeChat and is continuing to get to know one another. That she doesn’t have all the puzzle pieces about what led to the reunion is a mystery she can live with.
“I’m very curious by nature. I like to get to the bottom of things, but I feel like not at the expense of offending someone or alienating someone. It’s not worth it to me, you know. You know, it’s all worked out now and the last time we were all together we had this big dinner and we hugged, the birth parents, Haven and I and, afterwards, through Charley, our translator, Haven’s dad said:
“This is God’s arrangement…We just feel like, you know, the stars aligned and it all worked out.”
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Citation
“Kim Vander Bie, Haven's mom,” Our China Stories, accessed May 9, 2024, http://ourchinastories.com/items/show/305.